Thursday, April 17, 2008

fighting the socialists, in my ceiling

Yet another installment from the situational comedy for everyone:

Stepan: [entering the room] Matthew, ve need to have a conversation about food waste.

Matthew: [incredulous at his good fortune] Awesome.

Stepan: Yes, vee must be so very careful about leaving food out.

Matthew: I could not agree more…

Stepan: …and covering ze rubbish…

Matthew: …Yes, though I think the housekeeper just throws the trash over the wall into the swamp next…

Stepan: [become more clipped, emphatic] because vee vill gets da rats.

Matthew: [after observing a respectful pause commensurate with Stepan’s gravity] That would be a bummer man.

Stepan: And once you gets the rats, then they will go—eh—will go Svedish and live in the ceiling and [staccato] you vill nevah be free of them.

Matthew: [stifling laughter] Wait, so a rat who lives in the ceiling is Swedish?

Stepan: [seriously] Yes, and impossible to get out.

Matthew: Where does that come from? ‘Swedish Rats?’

Stepan: [indulges in a little laugh] Eh—I don’t know. Svedish rats, you know you Americans talk about paying, ah, you know, ah, paying Dutch. Is like these rats, you, ah, you go Dutch. Svesdish, Dutch, what do ve know?

4 comments:

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surprise said...

Your recounting of conversation like this one raise my awareness that I need more interesting companions. With one glorious exception, my non-work companions delight each other talking about back surgery, flocked wallpaper and spouse's fecklessness. Do I need to be more empathetic?

UPUBUF said...

This is simply spectacular.

surprise said...

Your fans would like to know what's happening in your adventures. Are you back on a scooter? Does your roommate fantasize rats? Have you seen beautiful mountains?