i am not jaded, all these things really happened

Stepan, forty five years old, builds reconstruction houses on the north coast of Aceh, enjoys fried meats of all hooves, and has an ongoing and unspecified grievance against Filipinos. An engineer from Germany, he also recently drew the short straw in the latest housing reshuffle, netting him the dishonor of bunking with the new ‘California boy’ American in town.

Scene 1
Stepan enters, in only his underwear, from his bedroom. His accent is palpable. Matthew is on the couch, laying under an oscillating fan while doing a crossword puzzle.
Matthew: Hey Stepan, how are you doing?
Stepan: [urgently] What are you doing? How did you get here?
Matthew: Yeah, I just moved from across the way. I am living in Room 1.
Stepan: Since ven?
Matthew: Ah, about 15 minutes ago?
Stepan: [shutting the door to his room] Strange days.
And, scene!

Scene 2
Matthew is reading a book on the sofa, while in the background a pot of tomato sauce simmers. Stepan enters smelling the air.
Stepan: Agh! Gad! Vat is that smell?
Matthew: Oh, hi, I am cooking some tomato sauce—have you already eaten?
Stepan: [smelling noisily] Does [another deep inhalation, followed by a cringe], does American cooking always smell so terrible? [exit]

Scene 3
Matthew is on the couch, half watching American idol, half solving a crossword. Stefan enters with a plate filled with individually wrapped Laughing Cow brand cheese bites and fried beef.
Stepan: [bracing his plate] Oh god! Oh no! The Asians, they love this care-a-oh-key stuff.
Matthew: Yes, I know, but for some reason I find my present keyhole view of American culture mesmerizing.
Stepan: Why this guy? Who is he? What does he know? We have in Germany and he is even naughtier.
Matthew: I think it is more about his persona, in addition to our fascination as Americans with British accents. I think the chick must be on drugs, though.
Stepan: [rising] There are two things destroying your country: American Idol and the Iraq war.
Mattthew: [confused] Oh, well…
Stepan: …Many people call this ‘cultural prostitution.’ I will! [exit]
And, scene!