no pain, no gain

I have been sick for the past few days (nothing to worry about; I have been lucky to weather it with a western style bathroom) but it has kept me away from internet for a few days. That in itself has been a truly strange and somewhat terrifying sensation, much more so than trying to figure if my fever, body ache, headache, diahrrea corresponded with the fever, body ache...of malaria or perhaps the fever, body ache...of dengue or simply traveler's sickness. Ive decided on the latter.
Anyways, digressions cast off, more than anything being sick has highlighted the need for me to start learning Bahasa Indonesia:
Consider, when the grandmotherly Javanese housekeeper of my friend's house found out I was sick, her course of action. Before I knew what was happening my shirt was under my chin and my belly was being rubbed with a camphor-like cream. Perfectly pleasant. I relaxed, closed my eyes, and reclined. In the next moment, I am jarred awake by something scrapping down my neck. It turns out that the Javanese (from what I can understand) get colds out by rubbing this cream on the neck and then scrapping, quite vigorously, up and down the neck with the edge of a coin. Unable to stop the whole process, and held down by her surprisingly firm grip, I now sport a necklace of a dozen vertical raspberry-like burns. The seasons hottest accessory, or the byproducts of an unsuccessful hanging. I tried telling them it was only catnip. But, alas, my linguistic shortcomings reared their hydraheads again.